Danielle Facey is a Breastfeeding Counsellor and founder of The Breastfeeding Mentor. She’s currently pregnant with baby number two and documenting her journey with evidence-based honesty and self-compassion.
Everything I’m doing to prepare to breastfeed my second baby (that I wish I’d known the first time)
There’s a particular kind of grief that comes with a breastfeeding journey that didn’t go the way you hoped. Not dramatic, not always named - just a quiet ache when you think about what you didn’t know and what might have been different if you had.
I’ve sat with that grief. Processed it. And now, pregnant with my second baby, I’m doing something with it.
This isn’t about doing it “right” this time. It’s about going in informed, resourced and kinder to myself than I was before. Here’s exactly what I’m doing to prepare and why.
Harvesting colostrum from 37 weeks
I tried this with my first baby. Attempted it once or twice, felt like I was doing it wrong, decided I was failing and stopped, feeling crestfallen. Would I be able to breastfeed at all? Why wasn't I leaking colostrum like so many of the other mothers at the antenatal group?
What I didn’t understand then was the role oxytocin plays in the process. Colostrum harvesting isn’t just a mechanical task. It requires a relaxed, unhurried nervous system. The hormone that releases your milk is the same one that needs calm to flow. When I was tense and self-critical, I was physiologically working against myself.
And oxytocin doesn’t just matter for harvesting. It matters for everything that comes after, too.
If my baby doesn’t latch in those first hours or first days, I now know exactly what to do. I hold him skin-to-skin. His chest against mine, his heartbeat close, that newborn scent that is somehow completely overwhelming and completely grounding at the same time. I drink it in. Recklessly. Deliberately. Because all of that triggers oxytocin. And oxytocin is what tells my body to let milk flow. Whether that milk goes directly into him or into a pump, my body needs that signal. That closeness isn’t just comfort. It’s biology. It could genuinely be the difference between my milk coming in and it not.
That’s not a small thing.
This time, I’m starting colostrum harvesting at 37 weeks with patience built in from the beginning. I’m treating it as a practice, not a test. And I’m carrying this oxytocin knowledge with me into whatever those first hours look like, however they unfold. Please consult with your healthcare provider to check that harvesting colostrum is safe for you.
Taking a manual pump to the hospital
Manual breast pumps are chronically underrated in conversations about breastfeeding preparation and I genuinely don’t know why?
They give you precise control over speed, over pressure, over the whole experience, in the palm of your hand. No power source. No setup. No waiting for a hospital-grade machine to become available on a busy postnatal ward.
This time I’m taking the Elvie Wave with me. It’s the most discreet manual pump I’ve come across and having something familiar and effective in my birth bag means I’m not dependent on whatever equipment happens to be available on the day.
Nursing and/or pumping around the clock in the early days
If there’s one thing I know with absolute certainty from both my training and my own experience, it’s this: those first few hours and days are pivotal for establishing milk supply.
Milk production works on supply and demand. The more frequently the breast is stimulated, whether by a baby nursing, a pump or hand expression, the stronger the hormonal signal to produce. Gaps in those early days can mean gaps in supply later.
Last time, I was fortunate enough to have hands-on support from the only lactation-trained midwife on the ward. She was brilliant but she was also one person covering 200 mothers. I can’t rely on even that level of support being available again.
This time, I’m going in knowing the plan myself. Nurse and/or pump strategically, at times that suit my body, my baby and our breastfeeding journey. I’ll be using my pump as a tool to empower and facilitate breastfeeding, rather than it being something to which I feel tied.
Skin-to-skin first, latch second
If my baby isn’t able to latch straight away, for whatever reason, that doesn’t mean breastfeeding is over before it’s begun.
He can be fed via syringe or feeding cup using the colostrum I’ve collected - which is exactly what Elvie’s Colostrum Collecting Kit is designed for - while we figure out nursing together, without pressure and without the clock running.
This matters because the narrative around latching can be so all-or-nothing. Either the baby latches perfectly in the golden hour or something has gone wrong. That’s not true and it’s a framing that has derailed many breastfeeding journeys unnecessarily. A baby who is fed, warm and close to their mother while nursing is established is not a breastfeeding failure. That’s a mother doing exactly what needs to be done.
Having my IBCLC on hand before I need her
I have a local IBCLC I trust and she already knows I’m expecting.
This might sound like a small thing but it’s actually one of the most significant pieces of preparation I’ve done. In-person lactation support is the single most effective intervention for breastfeeding outcomes, more than any app, any course or any piece of equipment. Having that relationship established before birth means I’m not searching for someone under duress at 3am in week one. I know who to call. She knows my history. We have a head start.
If you’re pregnant and don’t yet have an IBCLC you’re connected to, I’d encourage you to look into it now, before you need it.
What I know now that I didn’t know then
The difference between preparing for my first breastfeeding experience and preparing for my second isn’t really about products or protocols. It’s about understanding. Knowing why things matter, not just what to do but what’s actually happening physiologically when I do them, changes everything.
It changes how I’ll respond when things feel uncertain. It changes how I’ll speak to myself when something is harder than expected. And it changes what I’ll reach for when I need support.
If you’re preparing to breastfeed, for the first time or the fifth, I hope something here is useful.
This post was created in partnership with Elvie. All opinions and experiences are Danielle's own.